Focus
There was a programme on Animal Planet (my fave channel) where prison inmates turn unwanted & rejected dogs into very obedient companions within a 30 day training schedule. My gut reaction was: of course they can, after all they have nothing else to do. That reminded me of a quote somewhere that some of the deepest books have come out of authors while they were imprisoned. There's something to be said of solitude.

Reckless driver, rude behaviour......
I was early for my next appointment after sending Elliott to school. So I parked in the school lot to sit out the awful traffic & drink my coffee. Cars were whizzing in and out. Noticed a black Lexus SUV that came zooming in maniacally. Thought to myself, " With people driving like that in school, I hope no student gets hit."
I realized later that this car was parked hastily a few lots away from me. This man, in home clothes & looking very irate, shouted at the top of his voice at another man who was standing near his car.
Rude man shouting (RMS) : HEY! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO MY WIFE? (who was sitting in the passenger seat)
Teacher (T) : I was just asking her about parking here.
RMS: I JUST PARKED HERE FOR A MINUTE. BLAH BLAH BLAH...
T: You don't have to shout. I just noticed that ......
RMS: THERE ARE SO MANY LOTS HERE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PARKING LIKE THIS? BLAH BLAH BLAH
T shouting now: Why do you have to be so rude? These are reserved lots and I was just asking....
RMS: DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE THE PRINCIPAL? LET'S GO RIGHT NOW!!!!
The long & short of it is that this RMS was completely unreasonable & looking for a fight. After a good 10 minutes of shouting at each other, he drove off in a huff & a puff.....as maniacally as when he drove in. I was so glad I wasn't dragged into it. They were, after all, shouting at each other right in front of my car. I thought it was a bit like watching little kids at war with each other. Except these were grown men....in their 40s.

Reframing my son's perspective
I invested some time talking to one of my sons today. A real conversation. Not the usual stuff like if he had any homework or what he ate for recess etc. I asked him what his perspective of life as a student was. It's very telling. Here it is:
Too many exams. A lot of homework. Teachers do weird things like switch off the fan in class. Not fun & makes everything dull.
It was a painstaking process but I think I was able to reframe his perspective after asking him a whole bunch of questions directed at helping him see things differently. It was like extracting teeth from a new born hamster. Very, very hard work. It helped that I was very motivated.
Now his perspective of life as a student is:
Exams will be over soon - about 7 weeks to go. He does have the knowledge to do the exam questions. After exams, he will have no more tuition, I won't nag him anymore and he can do whatever he wants.
If he finishes his homework fast enough, then he wouldn't have to bother with it anymore.
He does have fun as there are weekends to look forward to.
School is not all boring because there is only one teacher that is weird. Of the other two teachers he has, one is rather fun and makes class enjoyable, and the other one is OK.
The circumstances have not changed but his perspective has.....a little.

Appetitizing Dinner Talk?
The setting. Multi-generational family meal. Some are finishing the main meal and others are starting on fruit & dessert. The conversation is usually light & intermittent.
Kong Kong: Elliott....eat some prunes. They are very sweet.
Elliott: (no reply)
Kong Kong: Matthew.....eat some prunes. They are very sweet.
Matthew (looking curiously at the bowl of prunes but finishing his rice): Hmmmm...
Kong Kong: Luke....eat some prunes. They are very sweet.
There is a wide variety of fruit. There are oranges, apples, a lone banana, several mango....and of course, the bowl of prunes.
Kong Kong: These prunes are very sweet. Matthew, eat some prunes.
Matthew (in complete innocence asks this question): What do you call it when your poo is stuck?
Me (an incredulous look on my face & somewhat speechless): What?
Matthew: What's the word you use when your poo is stuck?
Tim (in a soft berating tone): Matthew!
Luke: I think I've just lost my appetite. Can I leave now?
Elliott (laughing disgustingly loud): HA HA HA HA....
Ma Ma: Constipated. The word is constipated.
Matthew (with glee): Oh yes!
A few minutes later......
Matthew: MUMMY! Remember when you were constipated in Mammoth (a ski resort in California) and you had to eat a lot of prunes?
Me: Yes, Matt. Thank you. I do remember.

Militant Mothering!
Think I've finally found a way to get around disputes with my boys about time spent on Xbox, computer, TV etc. Anybody who enters this play room now has to sign in! They log in & log out their time. This simple act of recording does wonders. After all, we all know how time flies when one is having fun. We don't believe that 2 hrs flew by when it only felt like 30 minutes. But now.....it's in black & white. It's been rather effective & I'm incredibly pleased. Now I wonder what other military procedures I can enforce around the house....

Isn't this hilarious? Things to look forward to. Ha!

Reflection
Just got off the phone for my teleclass for Foundation Coaching. Jim Clarkson, the coach trainer, shared there was research that showed that most managers are so busy with their work that they have no time to think. No time to stand back and reflect. A sign of the times.
Then I checked my email and read the devotional for the day from Max Lucado. It was titled the " Desires of Our Hearts." The last two sentences just jumped out at me.

See your desires as gifts to heed rather than longings to suppress, and you’ll feel the same joy.
Reflect on your life. What have you always done well and loved to do?

I must make time this week for some personal reflection.

This is my current fave snack. It really gives me a boost.
Unfortunately for me, my kids like it too! They unashamedly take from my secret stash in the fridge and I haven't had a chance to replenish it. No good....no good....

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13
(as told to Jeremiah by God between 627 - 586 B.C.)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. - Matthew 5:6
(a quote from Jesus about 32 A.D., recorded by Matthew between 60-65 A.D.)

Three weeks after the wind ceased to blow, the sea lion had a dream. Now, as I told you before, there were other nights in which he had dreamed of the sea. But those were long ago and nearly forgotten. Even still, the ocean that filled his dreams this night was so beautiful and clear, so vast and deep, it was as if he were seeing it for the very first time. The sunlight glittered on its surface, and as he dived, the waters all around him shone like an emerald. If he swam quite deep, it turned to jade, cool and dark and mysterious. But he was never frightened; not at all. For I must tell you that in all his dreams of the sea, he had never before found himself in the company of other sea lions. This night there were many, round around him, diving and turning, spinning and twirling. They were playing.
Oh, how he hated to wake from that wonderful dream. The tears running down his face were the first wet thing he had felt in three weeks. But he did not pause even to wipe them away; he did not pause, in fact, for anything at all. He set his face to the east, and he began to walk as best a sea lion can.
"Where are you going?" asked the tortoise.
"I am going to find the sea."
The End.

Jesus said, "In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

It was in May that the winds began to blow. The sea lion had grown used to wind, and at first he did not pay much heed at all. Years of desert life had taught him to turn his back in the direction from which the wind came and cover his eyes with his flippers, so that the dust would not get in. Eventually, the winds would always pass.
But not this time. Day and night came, howling across the barren lands. There was nothing to stop its fury, nothing to even slow it down. For forty days and forty nights the wind blew. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. The sea lion lifted himself to have a look around. He could hardly believe his eyes.
Every single leaf had been stripped from his tree. The branches that remained, with only a twig or two upon them, looked like an old scarecrow. And I do not need to tell you that there was no longer any shade in which to hide. But worse than this, much worse indeed, was what the sea lion saw next. The water hole was completely dry.

"....for he is a liar and the father of lies. " John 8:44
That is a quote from Jesus in reference to the devil.

The sea lion was not entirely alone in those parts. For it was there he met the tortoise. Now this tortoise was an ancient creature, so weathered by his life in the barren lands that at first, the sea lion mistook him for a rock. He told the tortoise of his plight, hoping that this wise one might be able to help him.
"Perhaps," the tortoise mused, "this is the sea. "
His eyes appeared to be shut against the bright sun, but he was watching the sea lion very closely. The sea lion swept his flippers once against his side, gliding to the end of the water hole and back.
" I don't know, " he said. "It isn't very deep."
"Isn't it?"
"Somehow, I thought the sea would be broader, deeper. At least, I hoped so."

"You must learn to be happy here," the tortoise told one day. "For it is unlikely you shall ever find this sea of yours." Deep in his old and shriveled heart, the tortoise envied the sea lion and his sea.
"But I belong to the sea. We are made for each other."
"Perhaps. But you have been gone so long now, the sea has probably forgotten you."
This thought had never occurred to the sea lion. But it was true, he had been gone for a long, long time.
"If this is not my home, how can I ever feel at home here?" the sea lion asked.
"You will, in time." The tortoise appeared to be squinting, his eyes a thin slit.
"I have seen the sea, and it is no better than what you have found here."
"You have seen the sea! "
"Yes. Come closer," whispered the tortoise, "and I will tell you a secret. I am not a tortoise. I am a sea turtle. But I left the sea on my own accord, many years ago, in search of better things. If you stay with me, I will tell you stories of my adventures. "

The stories of the ancient tortoise were enchanting and soon cast their spell upon the sea lion. As weeks passed into months, his memory of the sea faded.
"The desert," whispered the tortoise, "is all that is, or was, or ever will be."
When the sun grew fierce and burned his skin, the sea lion would hide in the shade of the tree, listening to the tales woven by the tortoise. When the dry winds cracked his flippers and filled his eyes with dust, the sea lion would retreat to the water hole. And so the sea lion remained, living his days between water hole and tree. The sea no longer filled his dreams.

Daylight robbery @ Gourmet
I just have to complain that Australian lamb shanks are priced at $2.69/kg at Cold Storage Gourmet (no longer my favourite supermarket). The same brand, same packaging, same everything Australian lamb shanks are priced at $1.39/kg at NTUC Bukit Timah Plaza. I expect a price differential at CS Gourmet...but not THAT much! I was appalled.....refused to buy it there and wasted time, but not money, to drive to NTUC to get it there instead.

The sea lion loved his rock, and he even loved waiting night after night for the sea breezes that might come. Especially he loved the dreams those memories would stir. But as you well know, even the best of dreams cannot go on, and in the morning when the sea lion woke, he was still in the barren lands. Sometimes he would close his eyes and try to fall back to sleep. It never seemed to work, for the sun was always very bright.
Eventually, it became too much for him to bear. He began to visit his rock only on occasion. "I have too much to do," he told himself. "I cannot waste my time just idling about." He really did not have so much to do. The truth of it was, waking so far from home was such a disappointment, he did not want to have those wonderful dreams anymore. The day finally came when he stopped going to his rock altogether, and he no longer lifted his nose to the wind when the sea breezes blew.

Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands, you might have seen the sea lion for yourself. Quite often in the evening, he would go and sit upon his favourite rock, a very large boulder, which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country.
There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky. And on the best nights, when the wind shifted to the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze. Then he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast, deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling, he would swim and swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of breakers.
The sea was calling to him.

There was a time, many years back, when the sea lion knew he was lost.
In those days, he would stop every traveler he met to see if he might help him find his way back to the sea.
But no one seemed to know the way.
On he searched, but never finding. After years without success, the sea lion took refuge beneath a solitary tree beside a very small water hole. The tree provided refuge from the burning rays of the sun, which was very fierce in that place. And the water hole, though small and muddy, was wet, in its own way. Here he settled down and got on as best he could.

I really enjoyed this story taken from John Eldredge's book Journey of Desire. It goes on for quite a bit so my plan is to post a little section every day for the next few days.

I love this story...
Once upon a time there lived sea lion who had lost the sea.
He lived in a country known as the barren lands. High on a plateau, far from any coast, it was a place so dry and dusty that it could only be called a desert. A kind of coarse grass grew in patches here and there, and a few trees were scattered across the horizon. But mostly, it was dust. And sometimes wind, which together make one very thirsty. Of course, it must seem strange to you that such a beautiful creature should wind up in a desert at all. He was, mind you, a sea lion. But things like this do happen.
How the sea lion came to the barren lands, no one could remember. It all seemed so very long ago. So long, in fact, it appeared as though he had always been there. Not that he belonged in such an arid place. How could that be? He was, after all, a sea lion. But as you know, once you have lived so long in a certain spot, no matter how odd, you come to think of it as home.

Fighting Fish babies
Just want to announce the birth of at least 7-8 babies. That's the father. The babies are miniscule and simply adorable. It didn't take very long - a few days. We kept the male & female separated by a clear plastic. The male was busy strutting his stuff & building his nest of bubbles. We discovered the female (much smaller & very plain looking) was able to wander into his side at her discretion. Now the female has been taken out completely because we're afraid she'll eat her babies.