Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Reframing my son's perspective
I invested some time talking to one of my sons today. A real conversation. Not the usual stuff like if he had any homework or what he ate for recess etc. I asked him what his perspective of life as a student was. It's very telling. Here it is:
Too many exams. A lot of homework. Teachers do weird things like switch off the fan in class. Not fun & makes everything dull.
It was a painstaking process but I think I was able to reframe his perspective after asking him a whole bunch of questions directed at helping him see things differently. It was like extracting teeth from a new born hamster. Very, very hard work. It helped that I was very motivated.
Now his perspective of life as a student is:
Exams will be over soon - about 7 weeks to go. He does have the knowledge to do the exam questions. After exams, he will have no more tuition, I won't nag him anymore and he can do whatever he wants.
If he finishes his homework fast enough, then he wouldn't have to bother with it anymore.
He does have fun as there are weekends to look forward to.
School is not all boring because there is only one teacher that is weird. Of the other two teachers he has, one is rather fun and makes class enjoyable, and the other one is OK.
The circumstances have not changed but his perspective has.....a little.

3 comments:

auntymich said...

know what u mean abt extracting teeth..."er, ok", "er, nothing much", "er, so-so" etc

Pat said...

Mingying, you fail to see that the most important thing is this: is he participating in his school Talentime? Is he carrying on the family tradition? What kind of values are you imparting to him???

mingying said...

mich,
it's a boy thing....definitely.
pat,
yes...yes indeed...your wisdom leaves me speechless.